The House Trolls & The Bridge Troll

The Pufflewhumps were house trolls who lived behind the kitchen stove in the winter. When it got too hot, they moved to the back of the refrigerator - but it was too dusty and cold there for everyone, except for little Peewhit who, unlike the others, had both fur and feathers.

So, that summer they hid in the Large People's car when they heard them say they were going upstate to The Lake for vacation.

They crept out at midnight from behind the refrigerator, climbed in through the car's front window and hid inside its glove compartment: the only things there were suede driving gloves and old gum sticks. House trolls can shrink themselves down to any size. They can always return to their usual size by wiggling their ears counterclockwise.

Soon they felt the car move. It turned onto the highway, passed traffic lights, picked up speed and left the houses behind.

Three hours later, when the car came to a stop, they peeked out and saw a small wooden bridge.

Under the bridge was a Large Troll. Large Trolls had to live under bridges because they couldn't fit in most houses or behind stoves.

 "Why, it's Cousin Bloop!" said Mother Pufflewhump.

 "Let's get out and say hello!" said Father Pufflewhump.

Bloop was standing knee-deep in the creek water, looking up.

Bridge Trolls look different than House Trolls. They are taller, hairier and have long tufted tails.

"Still living under the same bridge, I see," said Father.

The large troll looked down at him and grumbled, "And where am I to go with my bad leg? There are no goats around anymore, just cars, bicycles and the occasional squirrel that comes around. It's too hard to be a carnivore these days! Now I'm an omnivore. I sometimes eat bicycles or Ubers if there's no fresh meat around. Or rummage in McDonalds' dumpsters."

Cousin Bloop then invited them to his hole under the bridge. The family had to wade through the water without boots to get there.

 Inside it was dark and sandy. On the walls were mounted heads of goats and motorcycle helmets. There was no furniture, just round stones of various sizes and a carved-out cupboard.

 "You must be hungry," said Bloop, looking concerned. He went over to the cupboard and took out some cans and jars of food. "I preserved these myself," he said proudly.

They all sat around the large rock table, ringed with stone seats. Bloop poured the contents into an earthenware pot.

"Here's my famous Fish Net soup!" He ladled it into their bowls. "And my prize-winning Eel Toe Jelly for dessert. Enjoy!"

"Ewww!" said the children, looking down and refusing to eat.

"Now children," said Mother Pufflewhump, "It's not polite to your cousin to not eat his nice dinner." So the children and their parents ate as much as they could stand and spat the rest into a napkin when no one was looking.

"Where will we sleep?" said Mother Pufflewhump after dinner, looking around anxiously.

Cousin Bloop showed them his dugout bed. This was a long burrow scooped out of hardened mud, big enough to hold him. Gathered moss and leaves made a rough pillow.

"Go ahead and dig," he said to the family cheerfully and handed each of them a shovel. He pointed. "It's best to start here - it's cooler on this end."

 Father Pufflewhump was not amused. "This place is a dump!" he shouted. "No child of mine will sleep in the mud!"

Bloop towered over him and slashed his tail angrily back and forth. "You house trolls have gotten too delicate. I like the rough life!" He shook his fist in Father's face.  

"Now, now," said Mother Pufflewhump. "Let's not fight in front of the children!"

The children were looking doubtfully at their small shovels.

Just then they heard a trickle, then a roar like a pack of tigers. The water began to rise, flooding the hole, pooling around their feet.

"It's a thunderstorm!" said Bloop. "You'll have to leave with me!"

The torrent came up to his waist and kept rising. He laid down in the water on his back like an otter.

"Climb onto my stomach…